bad day

she's not tht weak

but she's not tht strong either

:(

help me GOD

there's only you out here

i feel so hopeless

help

occasion: my birthday

one extra year added to the age

"The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life,

the clearer we should see through it"

...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...

14th december 1988 - present

sWEeT 2o

learning is a long-life journey

What I've Learnt Today?

www.iLuvislam.com

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone."

"People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

...APPRECIATE THINGS AROUND YOU...

...THERE'S A REASON WHY ALLAH DID THAT...

class of medic : PBL 2

G6PD DEFICIENCY DISEASE

What is G6PD?
G6PD stands for glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase which is an important enzyme in our body where a compound called NADPH is synthesized and later on brings about several essential functions regarding body regulatory...G6PD is the primary trigger enzyme of HMP pathway which is an alternative carbohydrate metabolism, just like glycolysis reaction...only that glycolysis produces ATP at the end while HMP pathway doesn't consume or produce any ATP...besides that, HMP pathway also lead to the production of ribose-5-phosphate, which is important in the synthesis of nucleotides for DNA & RNA in cells...

deficient of G6PD
no G6PD -> no HMP pathway -> no NADPH -> all functions of NADPH stopped

• fatty acids cannot be synthesized by adipose tissues
• steroid production are inhibited
• body exposed to accumulation of toxins such as hydrogen peroxides...NADPH can form the antioxidants for this condition...if absent, body will suffer from oxidative stress leading to death of cells or even hemolysis (burst of red blood cells)
• burst of red blood cell will lead to anemia...and jaundice because excess of yellow bilirubin (lysis product of hemoglobin)
  
• body will be prone to infections...this is because with the absence of NADPH, the phagocytosis process by white blood cells cannot occur...

disease of G6PD deficiency
this is the X-linked recessive hereditary disease which means that there is possiblity a female either to be the patient of G6PD or just the carrier of the gene...however, in male, its either the person is affected or normal...this is characterized by the low production of G6PD enzyme in body, hemolytic anemia or neonatal jaundice...neonatal jaundice is the 1st step of diagnosing G6PD defiency as babies born with this disease will have jaundice depend on the severity of the deficiency...other than that, G6PD deficiency can be detected where there's abnormal response towards certain infection, medications or chemicals...

things to be avoided

• oxidant drugs : antibiotics (chloramphenol), antimalarials (primaquine), antipyretics (acetanilid), analgesics (aspirin)
• favism : consumption of fava beans
• chemicals : nephtalene (household mothball), methylene blue (antifungal chemicals)

so that's the overview of G6PD which i've presented today...a lot more actually regarding the processes and reactions which are involved in HMP pathway...and the biochemical explaination regarding each points...overall, good job everyone...we had done our best... :D

quote of the day:

There are two things to aim at in life..
first to get what you want,
and after that to enjoy it...
Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second...

is STOP the right word?

studying medic is SO STRESSFUL...
...so much to do, so little time...

people get tense almost everyday...struggling to get through the lectures and absorbs the facts...and sadly, these hectic life never slows down...only that its getting worse...no wonder many of us feel bored or unmotivated after just 2 months here...IT NEVER ENDS...not to mention the ones who totally feel left out and trying so hard to catch up the syllabus...huh, i mean...things are never easy...gotta keep up the pace, otherwise you'll end up tangled on the road...and here's the worst part...once you stop hoping, stop dreaming, stop motivating yourself...you might have had a thought of STOP STUDYING...

well, so far luckily i don't have that kinda breakdown yet...yeah, life is stressful...but i kept on motivating myself, keep busy and try my best to be as happy as i can...life will never be easy, THAT'S A FACT...wherever you go, whatever you do, there's always challenges lies ahead...so here i would like to list out what are the things to be thought or shall i say points to ponder before giving up studying...it might change how you feel about life :)

• the most important thing is don't ever forget that God has plan for each and every of us...just go on with the flow...no matter what...sometimes what we want is not what we need...He knows best...maybe you'll feel rather depressed or surrounded by bad lucks...but i'm sure, if you managed to reach the end of the plan, you'll finally know why He let you come into this field...and you'll surely grateful for that...accept everything will an open heart, let yourself try to work on your destiny...don't have to turn the other way round...yes, you can if you really really really wanted to be in other place, but just remember He'll give you what you want, only that at the end it'll turn out to be worse...its always like that...talking about fate...

"I was once told that as time goes by
Everything changes with no reason why,
Explanations we won't receive
We're just told we must believe,
The full evidence I don't expect
Just some guidance down the right track,
Praying to You helps me to see
The wonderful journey You have for me,
Allah has a plan for each of us
This I Believe - This I Trust"

• 2ndly, think about your parents...i always do that...whatever i do, abah & mama will always be in my mind...what will they think, what will they feel, how will they react, which way will make them happier, which way will never let them down or which way will not burden them...they had sacrificed a lot...never in my life i'd want to make them sad...i always pray so that everything i do will get their bless, will make them happy, be proud of me...they always say to me and my siblings "we had given you everything you need...enough clothes, food, money, education...all we want is you to be the best...compare your life to ours, its so different...we were so much poorer back then, but we struggled hard and use all the things we have to gain success...this is what we finally have...so you should be better than us...so much better..." and so we will mom...don't worry...alia harap kami semua berjaya dengan cemerlang sampai akhirnya...demi mama & abah...kalau ader salah & silap, bukan salah mama atau abah, you both had done your best...i shall say the best parents ever...we all grow up to be full of love, laughter, responsible, motivated, diciplined, educated, faithful...rich in everything but still remain humble...that's us...right? :)

"My parents are the greatest, they raised me so strong,
They've loved me all my life, loved me so long.
They guide me through life, with all their leading love,
They're exactly like angels from up above.
Love can be wicked sometimes if it is not right,
They show me love by not letting me out of their sight.
Both of my parents play their own part,
In comforting me with all of their heart.
These two people are as kindred as could be,
I stick by them, they stick by me.
I want to tell you something as I depart,
...I love my parents with all of my heart..."

• 3rdly, think about your other family...your siblings...they must have had adore you so much...being the hope, the role-model, the star...i'm so lucky to have such bro n sis...we support each other...calm each others down, say good things (really good things :D)...praise when one had get the best, comfort if there's a drop in study...share ideas n thoughts...solve problems together...utk adik2, aya skrg study hard cni, korg pun kne blaja rajin2 jugak...get good results...adik2 kne ikut yg lebih tua...like we always said to mira "you gotta maintain the record, bru boleh setaraf dgn ktorg...haha" its true, that's why no matter what i shall strive hard...if things get more complicated, i'll strive harder...i'll show the meaning of survival to my siblings...so that when they are facing the same problem later on, at least they'll have some sort of strength like their sis...never give up...yeah!!

"When you look at your life the greatest happiness is family happiness"

• after that, think about your own...not happiness because trust me, till now i'm still confused with the things that could make me happy...you see, sometimes i'll be happy and sometime i'll be sad...well, life is like that after all...human are never contented...therefore, i'll just stick to my mind that this is the always the right thing to do...studystudystudy...i study for my future, my security, my confidence, my dignity...honestly, if you drop out now, its a BIG LOSS then...to a BIG BATTLE...waste of time, energy, and money...i'd rather study than think about all the stuff...giving up study, yeah for your own so-called-not-sure-yet happiness...i'm a fighter, who when there's a war given to me...i'd take the challenge because i know what lies ahead is so much better than what's in front...and it is a war, an individual war...where not the best man wins, but the survivor goes through...besides, i like the idea people calling me Dr.Alia already...haha...

"you might win a battle, but you lose a WAR"

• think about what your country would think...retain you pride...if you get through, you'll be embraced by all the malaysians...but if you quit, you'll certainly be enraged by them...no wonder, being in scholarship means that you are the hope of your country...people trusts you, giving out tax yearly...to support your study...and if you just quit, its such a waste...a HUGE WASTE...don't let people curse you, let yourself be a bless to all...be someone useful to your country, not burdening...fight for it...if not you, them who? nowadays we don't need to be always in military to show our patriotism spirit, but just be educated and end up having a noble job by helping out the country, its enough..

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail."

• When it comes to a career many are confused especially at your age. A career is a usually a lifelong choice whoever sometimes one changes their career status at same point in time. Always remember that what you do now will affect the rest of your life. Choose well. Think about the reasons you made the choice to become a doctor. If it was the money, or even the idea of helping others in a grand scale,you had a reason. Don't loose sight of yourself and what you feel about your choice...no matter what...never give up on your dream to do what you want to do...never let your studies go...never stop caring about others and never forget to be all you can! God has a plan for you seek His Will and you are going to be fine.
  

"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up."

quote of the day:
"When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but do not quit
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit."

kya ap angresi bolte hei?? (do you speak english)

...di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung...

means no matter where we go, always try to adapt to the place

okay, suddenly today i realize something...starting to ask myself why i didn't have the guts to learn about hindi before coming here??? it's SO IMPORTANT...i mean, why did i was so silly to think that indians here speak english very well...i know we were told that way...

"you don't have to worry, they speak english...shouldn't be a problem to communicate"...

but logically, of course not all of them could speak english...malaysians also are known to be well spoken in english but not everyone...i've been transferring a lot since a was a kid...been in several places should made me thorough about this...i've met so many people and trust me malaysians don't really speak english...except those who always use the language...even if u learn, but not using it, you won't be able to communicate as well...only yeah, you could write down and show what exactly u've said...
think about the kampung people, or even the uneducated ones, or the poor english learners...they won't speak english as well...only several words will come out and hand language i shall say...the same goes here...we are facing this kinda people daily...from the grocery shop till the cafe...but i salute them all...to be friendly and try their best to speak with us...giving help and asking about our country...they show interest to us foreigners...
unfortunately, day by day, its getting on my nerves that sometimes we had to communicate using sign language...or ask the nearby indian to be an intermediate translator...i should blame myself for not preparing for this...although there are certain terms that i understand (i guess watching hindi movies is really beneficial finally), but still it wasn't enough...and kinda funny...both for me and for the person i'm speaking...haha...but what to do...
for example just now...i didn't have my student card activated yet...just received the card several days ago and the office guy didn't have time to do that...so i guess it'll be next week...back to thestory, so i came back from lunch alone...when i arrived to the entrance, the door was locked...you see how advance the security here...we have to get an activated student card to pass through the detector on the door...so i asked the security guard to open up the door as she has her own card to allow people pass through...but this time, the lady didn't speak english, at all...huhu...i told her that my card wasn't activated yet...
"ye card active nehi?" (this card is not active?)
"jii, vo nehi active hei..can you let me through?" (yes, it's not active)
she seems hesitated...and then i showed my card to her...and so she let me through...
there you go...how hard it is...i could say much, or even convince her anything...luckily i could understand sometimes...huhu...

therefore, i would like to state here that
alia is going to learn about hindi till she could speak well to everyone...

its should be an advantage to speak extra language...in case of travelling or dealing with the people here...besides, people back in malaysia always ask me whether i had learn to speak hindi or not...so, i think i should start now... :D

quote of the day:
"people always say just be who you are
only that they might not realize that
people change...everyday...
well i'd say...always show yourself...
though people see you are different from before
but what's important is, it's
...THE BETTER YOU..."

road of CONFIDENCE

today my biochem lecturer did mentioned something that i'd like to share out here...he said that, one of the best quality of a good doctor is being

...C O N F I D E N T...

• how would you be a doctor who ensure your patient later on...
• how do you gain trust by others when you are not sure of yourself...
• how would you answer questions without having doubts on your knowledge...
• how would you explain without being nervous and stay calm while revealing your opinion...

thinking back, what he said was extremely true...no wonder he had been so, i shall say, spooky...i mean everytime he entered our class, there'll be like a chilly atmosphere surrounding the air, everyone will sit up straight, being extra alert to whatever he said, and an overrushed of adrenaline will go all over the body...heart seemed like stopped beating...no one dares to look at him in the eyes...especially in the beginning of the class...because he'll start with his "student primetime" session...haha...he'll ask about whatever we had learnt previously...i mean, ALL THAT WE HAD LEARNT...and turns his questions up-side-down, or start doubting...huhuhu...its a mess...whoever is chosen, will feel his/her badluck had just arrived, and of course major released for the rest :D and know what,

TODAY I MADE A HISTORY...I WAS THE CHOSEN ONE :D

"yes, you miss...tell me about the heme synthesis...from the beginning, starting from the sites..."

shockingly, i wasn't shocked...i stood up calmly & started answering...god i'm really glad i had read the notes + diagram just before the class...no wonder i felt like reading out loud the substances and enzymes involved, trying to understand the process...so glad i did...otherwise i'll be empty and blurr...not mentioning humiliated in front of 126 pairs of eyes...well, LUCKY ME ...although, there was several times that i had to pause...of course i did, i only managed to remember the abreviation of those substances and not the exact full name...besides, you get blank...no more paper you could find in your mind, COMPLETELY BLANK ...and if you wanna take a slight peek on the notes on your desk, he'll quickly said "don't look at your notes!!" huu~~~ well, overall...i did it well...answered back all his twisting enquiries...at least he didn't recognised the things i said as "new discovery" which meant for wrong facts...haha...anyway, its nice to have a lecturer like him...WE ARE FORCED TO REMEMBER...he'll have his "student time" session at anytime he wants during his class...and he'll ask the person to tell all over again...and of course, "don't look at the notes!!"...he enjoys doing that, yeah i can see...and everyone will enjoy it too...plus that, it wasn't them that is being called... :D

in other form
CONFIDENT = CALM+KNOWLEDGE+COURAGE

You Are CONFIDENT

You have the attitude and self esteem to take on anything. Failure is beyond not an option for you - it doesn't even cross your mind. People envy your ability to take on any challenge ... and they're secretly afraid you think you're better than them. You don't. You're just sure of yourself.

quote of the day:

I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't, I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack
The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy, and while I show them
I'll show me
Let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me
And mind me with each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They'll have to agree I have confidence in me
It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!!
~ maria - I Have Confidence ~

class of medic : PBL

I spend my entire day thinking & preparing my physio presentation which is called PBL (Problem Based Learning) tomorrow...though its just a light topic but hey, it'll be included in our university exam...and surely, EVERY MARKS COUNT!!! wonder who'll be validating my group...it really depends on luck...some lecturers will just let the student to present any prepared subtopics as planned but somehow some lecturers tend to be more strict & will pick randomly the student to present a random subtopic...but worse, the one who ask each student to come up in front & present the whole topics...extremely tiring+boring for both presenter & audience and it'll be time consuming...but yet, they're the boss...remember, EVERY MARKS COUNT...so here i am, staying up late & searching for the points, slicing up my brain for the sake of precious marks...

this time we were given a case situation regarding Anemia where this particular patient suffers several symptoms...actually we had discussed the case during the brainstorming session few weeks ago...we came out with few learning objectives related to the illness...then go back and review or gather as much information till the day of presentation comes (which is tomorrow)...there we have to give out the findings and all the facts to be shared with the group members...this kind of study is a real fun i shall say...brilliant idea to encourage us to study about diseases...i can say its like a pre-doctor experience... instead of studying directly from the book, we have to find additional information on the net or other sources than the textbook...then, we could relate the facts with the case...talking about creative and critical thinking...anyway, here i'll list down some of the useful information regarding anemia...these are the possible symptoms that anemic patient might have...

• fatigue & weak - when doing simple work or just by general, spread throughout the body
• shortness of breath
• headache
• increased heart rate - rapid heart beat at normal breath
• sweatiness
• pale skin
• inflammation at corner of mouth - sometimes resulting in mouth ulcer
• nail disease - upward curvature
• sometimes chest & abdominal pain
• ulcers or blooded stool
• jaundice
• brown/red urine
• difficulty on focusing
• leg cramps
• insomnia
• in children - developmental delays and behavioral disturbances, problem to interact

however these are the early symptoms which might indicate one is having anemia...if any of you experience few of these, please consult the nearest doctor and further tests will be conducted to comfirm out the illness...anemia is a condition where there's qualitative or quantitative deficiency of haemoglobin in red blood cells (RBC), which is below than the normal level of RBC in blood...long term anemia could cause hypoxic condition (lack of oxygen) at the organs of the body thus damaging the tissues & failure of the organs...haemoglobin is an important pigment in RBC which helps in the transport of oxygen throughout the body and human cells depend on oxygen to make body systems function accordingly...thus anemia will cause problems for organs to function well...and severe anemia might cause the death of tissue, which further leads to death...however once the illness is detected earlier, the chances of improving is better...

referrence:

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anemia
• http://www.medicinenet.com/anemia/article.htm
• http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/heart/anemia.html
• http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/anemia.html
• http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/understanding-anemia-basics
• http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/anemia/anemia_whatis.html
• http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anemia/DS00321

quote of the day:
"talking about Opportunity...
never take things for granted, even the small one,
it might turn out to the be diamond in the sand,
you'll only realize once you grab it in your hand..."

occasion: diwali 2008

~namaste~

~tgh culture shock cket~

saje nk try baju india

hehe

Dlm diriku hanya ada AKU...

Apa tujuan ku di dunia ini?
Apa keistimewaan ku di dunia ini?
Apa kebanggaan ku di dunia ini?
Apa ada dgn diriku ini?

Seorg insan biasa,
pernah menjadi pendusta,
byk melakukan dosa,
Selalu lupa padaNya,
sering alpa pada dunia…

Apa ada dgn diriku?
Kdg2 insaf, kdg2 keliru,
Hidup xtenang, penuh berliku,
Kejayaan xdpt menutup kecelaruan mindaku…

Kenapa aku di sini?
Pasti punya tujuan yg murni
Lalu disesatkan dgn musuh azali
Tanpa kusedar, laluan ku penuh caci…

Siapa aku ini?
Punya perjanjian dgn yg hakiki
Sujud sembah sepenuh hati
namun lain jdnya setelah smpai ke sini…

Setinggi mana darjatku kini?
Adakah sehina pangkal kaki?
Atau seiring manusia bumi
Namun yg pasti, bukanlah sanjungan hati suci...

Hilangkah pedoman hati?
Kerana yang tinggal kosong sepi
Hilang arah tuju aku di sini
Sendirian menanti simpati

Salah siapa aku begini?
Bukan salah ibuku yg selalu menasihati
Bukan salah ayahku yg selalu mengajari
Mungkin kerana diriku sendiri
Atau mungkin penghasut sekeliling
Kerana tiada kawan sejati
Untuk menegur diri ini

Susahkah untuk kembali
Andai hati kini rindu pada ilahi
Hati jemu jauh terasing
Ingin sekali dekat dan suci
Tanpa ilmuNya aku terhina
Tanpa imanNya aku binasa
Tanpa kasihNya aku sengsara

Ampunkanlah dosaku tuhan
Ampunkanlah dosa kedua ibubapaku
Ampunkanlah dosa keluargaku
Selamatkanlah kami dunia akhirat
Peliharalah kami dari azab pedihmu
Sejahterakanlah hidup kami di syurgamu
Tenangkanlah hati kami selalu

Semoga kami antara hamba2mu yg insaf & beriman
Semoga kami antara hamba2mu yg Kau syg & redhakan
Semoga kami diberi limpah kurnia, nikmat dan kesenangan
Tetapkanlah hati kami padaMu
Hidupkanlah kami di dunia ini sbg khalifahmu yg benar
Matikanlah kami bila tiba masanya dgn seringan-ringan kesakitan
Tempatkanlah kami di kuburmu yg luas lagi penuh keselesaan
Bgnkanlah kami di mahsyar nanti dgn cahaya kesucian
Pertemukanlah kami nanti di jannatulnaim dgn kegembiraan

Amin..amin…ya’ rabbalalamin…

quote of the day:
"rendah diri itu adalah sikap yg terpuji,
yg jika melakukan dosa, ia diam & malu pd penciptaNya,
dan bila melakukan pahala, ia diam & meminta keredhaanNya..."

And the story begins...

hye everybody...

this is my 1st time writing a blog...suddenly i feel that there's a need to share out my stories and what's going on everyday in my life...many people including my beloved family and friends were asking me about my life here...so the story had to be repeated several times and of course as time goes by, the story won't be excited to be told anymore...therefore let it be in this blog, i'll try to put aside some of my precious time to update my story...at least all of you will get to read out my daily experience asap...and share the excitement with me...i hope you'll enjoy my blog...

A.L.I.A

melaka manipal medical college

~ i n d i a ~

quote of the day:
"dream of the future,
live for the present,
learn from the past"