31/10/11

i didnt sleep the whole night, last-minute studying of course

got an hour of sleep at 5.30am, woke up at 6.30am

but i guess the 4 cups of coffee last night did a really good job in making me alert the whole day...huhu...seriously i dont feel tired at all, yet

its, 1pm already...and yes, i'm wide awake...not planning on taking a nap...xmengantuk buat ape nak paksa diri tido, buang mase guling2 je kan...

so we had our block exam just now...at 7.30am...

yes people, 7.30...di kala org tgh terkocoh2 kuar bilik pakai kasut semua...ktorg dah terduduk di dalam hall nk jwb exm...1 hour passed by quickly...

as predicted, the questions were all unpredictable...haha...biaq p la...haku da blajaq habih, dh soklan depa buat suma nak p jadi kelam jugak nk buat lagu mana...

pukul 8.30am soalan dikutip, semua org keluar dgn hati yg puas lara suka umm, lebih kpd blurrrrr...ade jugak rasa terkilan...sbb nasib xmenyebelahi kami...cume sesape yg pernah ter-google ke, ter-wiki ke, boleh la kot berharap cket2...mungkin jugak harapan tu bersinar sedikit dkt sesiapa yg memahami bahasa saintifik kasta tinggi...hahaha...yeah, we're just ordinary humble medic student...kurang sedikit nak bermain2 dgn bahasa atau tatabahasa bile smpai tang bab2 medic ni...let it be simple and clear...bru la berkesan...mungkin jugak ktorg belum lagi smpai ke tahap pakar utk membombastikkan bahasa sebegitu...umm, xde la bombastik mane...try bukak mane2 medical journal, and baca...ade la kot beberapa ayat yg mcm "daaaa, xperlu kot nak guna ayat gempak mcm tu...simple2 sudah...bende ni for public awareness...cemane org nk paham kalau sengaja mencari pasal mcm ni"...hahaha, tetibe da jadi sesi luahan perasaan xpuas hati...xpuas hati sbb bile baca journal smpai nak kene bukak kamus tebal...hoho...dah kamus medic gedabak dh, perlu ke nak kamus bahasa jugak...tang bahasa english tu xpe, no problem, tapi boleh x guna bahasa english sehari-harian...mungkin jugak bile nk publish tu perlu make sure ayat yg guna up2 cket, supaye ade standard kasta tinggi...haha...amboih alia, mengata sakan hang...xpe2, my blog kan, boleh je sesuka hati nk luahkan perasaan...luahan je ni...

okey, nak pegi class! lecture will be frm 2 till 5...then from 5.30 i've got extra class of islamic studies...for MQA sake...nak kene ade kelas agama yg valid dgn requirement dorg...baiklah, i dont mind at all...the class is extremely fun...dan ni bukan la perlian...tapi hakikat sebenar...i'm having such a wonderful time to learn about our religion...the class is so casual tht you can ask any type of questions tht pops up into ur mind...anything...and sebab ade 8 org je  so ktorgdiberi sepenuh perhatian...belajar agama perlu kaedah yg betul...supaya ilmu yg nak diberi sampai, komunikasi pun senang, perbincangan meluas...yg salah diperbetulkan, yg benar diajarkan...i love this class...everyone's cooperative, sharing ideas and knowledge...and bergurau2 sambil belajar...ustaz yg mengajar nampak mcm sgt berdedikasi & berilmu...seriously...best sgt class ni...org yg xperlu amik paper ni pun dtg jugak, utk mengisi masa dgn ilmu...i'm looking forward to it every week...extra 2 hours twice a week pun xpe...i'd attend wholeheartedly...

maka dgn itu, hari ni balik pkl 7.30 malam...yerr, pulang dpd kelas di waktu malam...keluar pagi balik mlm...terbaik la punye 12 jam belajar...bravo uh? xkira, mlm ni confirm KO awl! i still need my beauty sleep...huhu...bye!

OBG posting!

-if only baby is delivered easily like this-

currently i'm still in Obstetric & Gynaecology (OBG) posting...setiap hari pegi hosp belajar pasal wanita dan ibu2, dan semua proses yg berkenaan termasuklah pregnancy and labour...so far i've witnessed caesarean section, normal vaginal delivery, tubectomy...walaupun penat kaki berdiri, but xkisah lah...pengalaman yg dpt sgt bermakna...like today, we had to stand up for total of 4 hours in the operation theatre as well as labour theatre...plus with 3 classes today with an hour of each...tambah lagi i puase arini (bru kalut nk puase ganti kan...hohoh) penat sgt!!! 


dah tu bukan je dok relax berdiri, ingat main sesuka hati tgk ke...smbil2 tu dok kene tanya soalan2 dpd dokter2...berdebar je...right now, bile da smpai umah, i'm mentally and physically exhausted...but what to do, nk kene baca cket2 lagi...sbb esok masih ader class, with the same routine, classes and posting...and ikut nasib la ader case ape for the day kan...apepun, i really respect OBG doctors...they have a wide scope of jobs to do...mula dgn merawat wanita2 dari umur start period smpai tua lepas menopause...then ader pulak part family planning, infertility treatment, contraception...consultation and creating awareness...pastu ader pulak nk kene monitor mother's and baby's progress...nk kene check ubat2 sesuai ke x utk pregnant women, nk kene bg pill2 and vitamins yg sepatutnye, nk kene buat ultrasound check keadaan baby pulak...nk kene control ape2 penyakit ibu2 mengandung, semua bende xboleh pandang ringan...silap sikit je, 2 nyawa yg terlibat...and then nk kene predict keadaan ibu and baby time nk beranak nanti...nk kene tolong sambut baby...buat operations jugak : caesarean section, ikat fallopian tube utk yg nk control pregnancy...ape2 jenis tumour/ketumbuhan dorg jugak la nk detect...mainly covers it all...consultation, treatment, prevention, and surgery...nice~ tidak dilupakan jugak byk sungguh bende nk kene bace and hafal utk OBG!!! nehiiiiii!!!

p/s: vaginal delivery is seriously traumatic...bukan nk mentakutkan semua org...but it's really scary...especially from the eyes of an amature medical student like me...melihat setiap detik itu sungguh mendebarkan...i wonder how it actually feels...haha...nanti2 beberape tahun lagi ye...wooooooo~ xnakkkk...cuak darah kuar byk giler!!!~ like massive menses...dgn maknye dok jerit2 mintak tolong sbb sakit sgt...kesian...xdpt nk tolong byk sgt...it depends on her...yg scary sbb bile sakit tu yg kene push...haih, bile xsakit kene relax...apepun, i salute all mothers in the world for having such strong will to push out the babies from their womb, after 9 months of sufferings difficulty...huhu...but trust me, once the baby's head is out, walaupun separuh lagi belum kuar, bile dier bukak mata and mula bernafas, it's a total miracle...a cute little innocent being is out from the belly to see the world from the first time...terharu ok... :) terus ibunya nampak kelegaan...nk kuarkan placenta pun dah kurang jeritnya, and bile kene jahit pun mmg nampak la dorg sedaya upaya tahan...i bet in their minds are just towards the baby, nk jumpe and pegang baby cepat2...nk cakap2 dgn baby...awwwwww~ best sgt! nak jugakkkkk...haha...tetibe nk baby balik! tadi dok tkt2 sgt kan....lol

a relieved voice of mine

!!!EXAM IS FINALLY OVER!!!

My theory paper had just finished yesterday...Thanks to hundreds of loved ones out there who had been supporting me for all this while and pray for my success...Life isn't over with an episode of failure...Life goes on, happily...depends on how u take it...I admit that failing isn't that easy...only Allah knows how hard it was...u might lose everything, literally everything...but to see on the bright side, u'll find something new...the side that not all people could have the chance to see, but some how u had been fatefully forced into it...the opportunity that only u could have, the knowledge that only u could learn, the people that only u could meet...its not easy, but i could say here, its worth it & its not that bad...

to others, your failure might just be one of their sad news to hear...which would soon forgotten...but to u, this would be a big deal, you were crushed so badly that your entire life might need a huge change, even you yourself would become someone else ----> hopefully, the better you...

I might not been able to tell people out loud about this problem...well of course i took it personal...seriously personal...to have never been getting the F marks and walk around with a permanent F on ur forehead, of course i mourn and whine like a lot...and of course i'd feel like world isnt fair to me, how could god possibly punished me this way...and so on...and it took me few months to adjust and accept the fate that this is one of the ways to get through to make me better, for the future...like all the people who failed, my parents were enraged by it...i got scolded and god knows, they have never been mad at me in my whole life, until that day...and being an obedient child, i just kept my mouth shut and my eyes closed...i didn't even cry in front of them...

and then i learned something:

its so painfully unbearable to hear a person saying that its your own fault for your failure because you didn't even study and for the fact that you played alot, watched movies alot, facebooked alot, and got stupidly in love with some new guy, and got so carried away till you forgot about your exam, and you didn't remember god that much until you totally deserve to fail...and that person is your own parent...and its so much painful when the truth is you studied so crazily that you didn't have much time to sleep or go out having fun, for the whole month of study break, u only moved around back and forth between ur kitchen and bedroom...you missed a lot of the news from ur friends or even whatever happening back in malaysia because u were so into studying...its so painful when u failed even though u've tried ur best to even pass the exam...its more painful because u only failed by 1-2 marks from the passing line...and after doing a lot of blaming myself from not forcing my own ass to study a little bit more, if i did i might been able to get another 1-2 marks more that might change everything...i might be with all my friends and right now i'd be happily packing up my things to go back malaysia for good...but it didn't happen that way...talking about fate...takdir tuhan itu sgt misteri...i remembered people always say...kadang2 apa yg kita nak, bukanlah yg terbaik utk kita...kadang2 apa yg tuhan tetapkan, walaupun kita xsuka, tapi itulah yg terbaik...terimalah dgn hati yg terbuka...setiap yg terjadi ade hikmahnya...usaha, doa & tawakkal, selainnya tu ketentuan Allah...

i shall say that i'm happy now...skrg bru boleh nampak siapa yg betul2 kawan dalam susah senang...and siapa kwn utk bersenang saje...everyone will care for u, trust me...but not everyone loves u that much to support u, help u out when u fall down, to be there when u're alone...only true friends will...and of course your family...my parents might say those words because they were as scared as i was that time...if my life had been crushed, its more painful for them to see their beloved daughter who were growing up excellently since she was a baby, became like this...mom even cried so hard that i myself couldnt believe it that time...as if somebody died...but its true, parents are the only people who would feel double the pain when u fail...sape x sedih...they brought me up so well...i could recite a doa when i was 1 year old...i could read and speak so well without ckp pelat, since i was 3...i was the best in all my schools...sekolah rendah my marks had never been below 90...in my secondary schools, i was always one of the best...what a proud parents they were...anak yg sgt berdikari and xbyk masalah...an easy child...everything went on smoothly...if i were them, mestilah bangga jugak...then tibe2 dh amik medic ni, fail pulak...terkejut bkn kepalang la kan...

the day i had to returned here...my parents bought tickets to india at the airport...nak dtg cni utk tgk mcm mane i study...nk check anak dier dok main ke kt cni...they came a month later, only to found me studying like hell...dad were sleeping on my bed, while mom was watching hindi movies that time...and i was there to memorize all the drugs for the next day exam...i showed them my notes and books...and i showed them the amount i had to memorize...since that they became so understanding...even now i still have some nervous breakdown once in a while...to be honest, a few days ago...i cried so badly, saying sorry to mom and promised her i'd do my best to not disappoint her ever again...all she said "don't worry, ape nak jadi lepas ni xpelah, we'll figure it out later...mama tau alia dh cuba yg terbaik...kalau xboleh jugak maybe its not ur call...whatever happens, we're so proud of u"

the thing is...you're not dead when u failed...all u need to do is to get on ur feet first and make a plan b...allah tu maha penyayang...setiap yg terjadi ada hikmahnya, cuma lambat sikit la nk nampak apekah jenis hikmah disebaliknye tu...while waiting for that, adalah lebih baik kalau kita terima kenyataan dan berusaha lagi ke arah kebaikan...life isn't over yet...kalau satu jalan ditutup, pergilah jalan lain...teruskan berjalan...biar lambat, asal selamat sampai...mungkin jalan baru lebih penuh dgn buah-buahan & bunga2 yg wangi...biar sampai ke destinasi dgn senyuman... :) one step at a time...

now i know the feelings of others who failed...before this mcm xtahu sgt, seriously...i kept on telling them to continue studying, find other ways that suits u the best, and give more time for studying bla bla bla...i thought that was the ways to support a friend...what i missed the most was fate might be one of the factor...i forgot that we all worked hard...of course la, xde sape dlm dunia ni nak gagal...tp xde sape dlm dunia yg boleh tentukan nasib masing2...the outcome is still at the hand of Allah...terimalah ape2 yg terjadi, for its the best for u...trust me...

after coming back here, i had to undergo the special classes for repeaters...there were 7 of us for pharmacology subject...yup, sadly manipal here doesn't have this second exam kinda thing...once u failed, u need to wait for another 6 months to join ur juniors in their exam...now add that to my misery...penantian tu suatu penyiksaan bukan...hoho...tp xde sgt, sementara menanti i siap2kan diri semolek-moleknya...god knows i never had this kinda free time in my whole like since i entered school...dulu skolah2 slalu kene pegi kelas dpd pagi smpai ptg, then mlm buat homework, baca buku...blablabla...skrg ni kelas 3 kali seminggu...hell if i had a million in my bank i'd go travel every week and manjakan diri dgn shopping2...lol...mmg tersangat2 free...dah la pegi kelas open book test, jwb la few questions, then balik...sleepwaking to class...heheh...

but i didnt take it that way...dgn penuh rasa tanggungjwb, mestilah i balik pun study...mungkin dulu i studied for the sake of exams, yelah, with so little time, u don't really have much urge to dig into all the reasons behind the pills u were studying...dulu2 study demi exam, hafal & telan pastu bile exam muntah balik...skrg i study to become a doctor...now i could see pharmacology as an interesting subject...yelah, bile dh ada byk sgt masa, mestilah nk complicatedkan lagi keadaan...i suke bygkan konon2 ade pesakit dtg dgn symptom2 dier, then i kaji sesuai x nk bagi ikut umur, pekerjaan or penyakit lain dier...then bru bagi ubat...pastu explain kt dier konon2 pakcik/makcik, kene control dier, bile nk mkn ubt sume ni...call me crazy but its a really fun way to learn...others might laugh, seriously, i know that some people who are meant to take medicine would study all this and ace the subject easily...that explain why some people struggled so hard to pass a subject while there's a bunch who got even 90marks for the same paper...over and over again...heran betul, but its their call, good for them...kadang2 bila kita mmg sesuai dgn suatu ilmu, semua dpt diserap dgn baik...sgt2...i knw tht feeling...time2 skolah i dnt have to study much, i duduk hostel, kt kelas slalu mengantuk, balik asrama i tido paling awal...but i still managed to get high marks, and to tell the truth, i pun xtau mcm mane nk explain dh...i tried ajar org lain, bg tips, buat study groups...now i knw, that ilmu itu memilih jugak rupanya...certain people mmg terang hati sgt2...some people dont...mcm i skrg, medic ni i terase susah...bila tgk balik, xsusah pun...if its really ur call, then u'll feel so much at ease...kalau mcm i, dpd mula mmg xde hati pun nk amik medic...tapi dh ditakdirkan ke arah cni, i might as well work for it...mungkin susah sedikit utk i, tp still boleh capai...cuma lambat cket la...dont worry, i'll make this work in my own way...xpernah lagi ade budak medic yg dok berangan main dokter2 dgn her own teddy bear while memorizing drugs...i'd be the first...hopefully later on, i'd become a great doctor...i want to be a great doctor...bukan yg terkenal atau popular, tapi i nak jadi yg dapat membantu org lain, boleh layan kerenah pesakit dgn baik, explain kt dorg, kurangkan sakit dorg, happykan hati dorg...i want my patients to be healthy & happy...that's a true doctor right? :)

to those people who had failed, dont worry...hidup xselalu indah, tapi xjugak selalu ribut...jgn putus asa...take things positively and move on... :)

and yes, my ways of learning does work for me i guess...i've becomed so much better...mom said i even sound like a doctor already when she asked my advice on her meds...and exams seemed easier, alhamdullilah...kuasa allah...exam dulu i terase mcm nk jerit kesusahan...tp exam skrg i rase mcm nk menangis kesenangan...berkat doa all my loved ones...thank u so much...

gambar ni comel sgt, xtahan...haha...Fighting! :D

hope in 10 years time i'd be one of the best

-amin-

oh oh oh!

perrghhhhhhh, dtg2 kt blog nih terus kabur dek sawang-sawangan...tangan pun terawang-awang menepis debu deban yg terbang2 membentuk kabus asap hitam...hooooo~ teruk sgt... (T_T) tp mmg da lme terase dok tgl blog ni...SEBULAN...betul kan? huhuhu...sorry people, selagi i dok study2 ni i rase sume bende bagaikan hangat2 tahi ayam (cewahhhh, da lame sgt teringin nk guna peribahasa neh...rase mcm da lme tgl bhs mlayu...hohoho...jentik cket...aishhhh, walopun i tercampak kt india ni, ktorg still ckp mlayu la...yg org utara masih pekat lagi dok ckp utara...dnt worry...heh...xdenye lupe...cume kebakuan bahasa itu agak hilang sedikit demi sedikit...lihat sahaja nukilanku ini...hahaha...terase sedikit segan jikalau ada adik2 di skolah yg taiko bahasa melayu melihat blog ini...apepun, abaikan saje...asai hang paham apa akak dok celoteh ni sudah la dikkkk ooiiiii...hahaha...ayat bersalah...lol) 

back to the story, selagi i dok study, exam pasti menyerang secara bertubi2 sehinggakan diri ini menjadi kebal tatkala menjawab soalan (nah hengkau ayat puitis...layankan saje...now mode nak berbahasa...sile berbudi...lol...rosak2..) seriously, skrg mcm dh lali sgt, xsempat nak berdebar pun...dah biase sgt, bosan mencuakkan diri...haha...apakah...justeru diriku bagaikan sleepwalking je ke dewan peperiksaan dan menjawab dgn steadynye menggunakan satu tangan...haha...ade ke org guna 2 tgn? hahaha...kot la dh nervous sgt kan...who knws? lol...anyway, mungkin bagus kan bile dh mcm ni...yela, awal2 dulu study bagaikan nak rak, takut sgt2 dgn exam...skrg.. fuhhhhh...hembusss jeee...lol...but its true...bile dh slalu exam, we'll be like constantly studying no matter what, always prepared...kalau ade serangan mengejut pun kami boleh (jwb soalan jela...lol...suh pegi perang betul2 jenuh gak kan...haha)...owh kalau sebut sleepwalking tu bukan la pegi dgn xde ape2 persediaan...of course we all study jugak, cuma xde la last minute kan...


i ingat lagi pada zaman dahulu i jenis yg slalu study last minute...siapa tidak suka? meh nk tgk muka cket...hahaha...i'd tell you...sepandai2 manusia belajar, akan ada masa di mana setan2 berdendang sakan di telinga dan hati supaye lagha akan bende2 keduniaan...ataupun mimpian (hahaha, ni bile setan hasut suh tido...) astaghfirullahalazimmm...kene cepat beristighfar, sedarkan diri, and kembali ke jalan asal...teruskan perjuangan study tuh...huuuuu~ belajar itu biar kerana allah...menuntut ilmu itu ibadat juga...yg baik2 moga dapat dipraktikkan di masa hadapan, utk tolong keluarga & bangsa...hmm, bukan niat nk susun ayat manis tp ni la hakikatnya...buat apa belajar tapi ilmu tu sia2...kalau buat sesuatu biar berfaedah & bermanfaat kpd semua...ingat mak ayah hantar belajar jauh2 sbb nak anak balik goyang kaki ke? mesti la nak anak nanti senang dpt keje, support mak ayah, tolong family...and of course tolong masyakarat keliling...jgn lupa tujuan asal belajar...duit kerajaan jgn membazir mcm tu je...study la, sbb tu tanggungjawab sbg student...gagal bile dah separa mati berusaha tu mungkin dugaan allah utk kuatkan diri kita....tapi gagal kalau diri sendiri yang sengaja xberusaha, nak buat mcm mane...menyesal xsudah kan...masa bertahun terbuang mcm tu je...hohohoh...cik alia dh start berletiaq...sorry people...xpasal2 kan...haha...ni bile mood dh dtg nak mengepost, mule la menaip sesuka jari kan...haha...


just remember, its never too late to change, towards the better you...no matter what you do, make sure you know that you're making the right decision, by doing the right things, in the right way...life is like a road, and you're a traveler...only that, once you've walked by a path, there's no turning back...it's all up to you whether to take the right or left once you've encountered a junction...and continue your journey, heads up high, chin lifted, and walk by confidently...for what its worth, you yourself know you're doing the right thing...if thing doesn't go the way you planned, don't worry...where there's a will, there's always a way...have faith...and move on...Someone said to me today..."Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it bcoz it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry. It won't last forever either." (^_*) 

haihhhh...i can just blabs around in another thousands of motivating words...but the truth is, i myself am not sure what lies ahead...life had been a damn roller-coaster for the past few years...i shall say i am leading a very peculiar life...ape yg pelik? biarlah rahsia...hohohoooooo...yg penting mmg pelik, tetapi penuh warna warni, penuh drama, ketawa & tangisan, suka duka...owh, i love growing up...hidup zaman kanak-kanak dahulu boleh dikatakan pink2 purple2...time skolah pula bagaikan robot, setiap hari benda yg sama dibuat, owh i am a nerd student in those days, all i think about was studying and getting good grades...hmm, mungkin sebab tu zaman sekolah bagaikan colour kelabu hitam putih...agak bosan...tibe2 dah abis spm, and yes, result maintain terbaik...skrg??? hidup sungguh warna warni!!! i learnt about so many things...growing up katekan...getting older is tough, but that's what makes life interesting and never dull...i'd rather be living in a life full of ups & downs rather than a monotonic wave...

ok, tu je bebelan arini...terpakse kembali ke alam nyata...huuuu~

bubye blog world...brb in a month...

please pray for my exam ok

(^_*)

xoxoxoxo

Cerita Dulu-dulu 1

hohohoho...setelah berduyun2 dok send entri contests...tibalah masanya bila aku dh xtau nk buat apa...hisyhhhh, harini pun xleh tido awal jugak...jenuh la mcm ni...nanti terskip class ke, even worse time2 nak exam kan jenuh tu...haihhhhhh...mcm mane nk pakse tido nih? ade ke istilah pakse tido? tetibe teringat zaman kecik2 time dok kt nursery or tadika...petang2 pas lunch je sume bdk2 kene masuk bilik and tido...cisss, bukak mate pun xleh weyh, apatah lagi bukak mulut...tido la dlm 3-4 jam, then ptg time2 nk tgu mak bpk dtg amik bru leh kuar main2 di laman...huuu~ seksa kot...kalau yg jenis kuat tido time kecik xpe gak kan, tp kalau yg agak hyper cemane? hyper nk gerak muscles2 pegi lari sana sinun, begitu juga yg hyper di mulut terase nk bercakap...terkinja2 nak kuarkan beberapa abjad jugak2...hahaha...time2 org kate xboleh tu lagi tempted nak buat...hahaha...comel betul...kenangan kanak2 riang...

kalau skrg pas mkn je dan2 ngntuk...tht's one of the reasons i dont take early breakfast in the morning except a cup of coffee...owh2, btw breakfast is a must to everyone, never skip it ok...its just a matter of time when you should take it, depends on u actually...kalau mcm i mmg xleh la makan pepagi tu, confirm ngntuk lepas tuh, postprandial hyperglycemia a.k.a blood sugar level increased after eating (tp xde la smpai ke nak jadi diabetic kan...okay2 lagi) and symptoms dier adalah drowsiness, fatigue, blurred vision...so paham2 jela kan...lepas tu tahap keinginan utk mentidurkan diri adalah sgt tinggi...haha...sampai juling2 mata menahan okeyhhh...seksa betul... :))

a googled pic...tp sumpah my class is just like this EACH time after a lecture! haha...i guess kt mane2 uni pun sume student mengalami tabiat yg same...mengantuk dlm class...abis je sume pakat terdampar atas meja...lol

xperlu tunggu disorong bantal, sorong tgn pun jalan...hahaha...ade tu kalau kt kelas, sampai boleh tido smbil duduk, nk hebat lagi tido smbil bukak mata...xtipu weyh! sedar2 da abis class kot...seb baik lecturer xtanya kan...hahaha...naya hang..tp ade yg lebih hebat, lecturer tny pun leh jwb...wohohoho...kisah benar...i guess bile dh separa sedar pun boleh jugak masuk kan...maybe that's one of the reason people say kalau nak senang ingat bende, try baca b4 tido...hehe, i dulu penah gak konon2 nak try buat experiment teori ni...haha, curious...tp mungkin boleh caye kot...dulu2 zaman muda2 time nk amik spm, b4 tido je i bukak buku sejarah...HAHAHAHAHA! ye , tepat sekali tuan2 puan2, niat sebenar ketika itu sbb nk bagi tido awal...lol...tau2 jelah kt hostel kan harommmm membawa segala bahan hiburan, novel majalah sume khurafat abis...jadi tido berbantalkan buku sejarah, wahhhhh nangis weyh cikgu dpt student mcm ni...lol...and tau2 jelah dok hostel mlm2 tu after lights off bukan sume nk tido kan...bising bukan main...yela, we're like sisters back then...kalau boleh, gossip 24 jam pun xpe...ade saje bende nk citer2 or gelak2...yg perlu tido tu jenuh la...so buku sejarah la ikhtiar yg i ade utk tido awl...hahahaha...ngeng, but seriously that was wut i did...AS WE ALL KNOW, buku sejarah tersangat2 bosan...kan2? kalau xde exam, jgn harap aku nak bc bagaikan novel2...tp aku gagahkan jugak bc mlm2 pun...cause i love my history teacher...beliau sgt2 vogue and great...sepanjang 6 buah sekolah menengah aku pegi dulu, xde sorg pun cikgu yg hebat mcm dier, mengajar xpayah bukak buku teks...i totally agreed with her...bile dh ade buku, tu tugas student utk bc...bile kt class, tugas cikgu adalah utk mengajar dan bukan tolong same2 membaca...x ke? no wonder people sleep in class, well i did...hahaha...xsenonoh kan...

ye, i was one of the top students back in school days...but i was perfectly normal...just like the others...yg slalu disuruh diam bile dok sembang dlm class, yg didenda sbb xbawak buku, yg tido dlm class, yg kdg2 xleh jwb soalan, yg punya konflik di skolah...and yg "menembus pagar"~ hahaha, xde la lompat pagar kan, haku betoi2 xpaham pasaipa org dok lompat pagaq, hang p jalan depan pak guard and go out sudah...heh, hebat x? and i did that...selalu kot...hohoho...konon2 emergency nk beli pads or cikgu suh kuar beli blablabla utk assignment, hahaha padahal haku dok hentam kfc dgn kwn2 kot...lol...ala, budak2...biase la...xpun terus telus saje dgn pakguard tu, ckp teringin sgt mkn nasi lemak special...hahaha...and amik la pesan dorg skali pegi tolong beli skali...sng bukan...lol...lgpun bukannye pegi meronggeng jauh2, smoking or clubbing kan...setakat kuar dpd pagar je...and of course like i said, kalau org kate xboleh, itu jugak nk buat sgt2...terase berjaya xterhingga...hahahah...silly me...tp dgn syarat ko baik la dgn pak guard tuh kan...berbaik okey, lain tu dpd istilah menggedik, menggoda & menggatal...haihhh, dulu2 mmg byk betul alasan dibuat dgn pintarnye...hahaha...lagi satu bile time prep i salu ponteng...tp sebab ade record top student so bile xde dlm class tu sume pakat ingat alia dok kt library or mane2 tmpt yg sepatutnye...well, alia mmg slalu study okey...cume bile2 dtg mood kebosanan tahap melampau tu yg bru nk buat2 alasan, dgn beraninye i skip prep and pegi bantai tido kat surau...hahaha...sorg2 pulak...cool giler...byk kali pulak tu...sedap seyh ptg2 yg panas tu tido kt surau yg aman damai...agak2 org azan asar tu bgn la menandakan waktu prep telah habis...hahaha...sengal x...yg paling xboleh tahan bile kt dlm class kalau mengantuk tahap sehabis nyawa dh, i branikan diri pegi jumpe HEM and ckp xsihat/migrain/demam blablabla...of course dier bg balik, muke org xcukup tido mmg akan jadi kesian tersgt2...and kalau dok buat dlm dua bulan skali mcm tu of course xde sape tau hang dok berpura2 kan...lol...so i pun balik and tido di sickbay...tp kalau malas kt sickbay, terus saje ke hostel...huahuahua...ala, aku tau diri aku baik xde teringin nk mencuri brg2 budak kan...so balik tido jela...hehe, the good old days...well overall, saya ni normal saje...just like others :)

berbalik pada teori baca before tido, mujarab jugak la i can say...ditambah lagi dgn faktor guru...owh, i syg sume cikgu2 i...sbb dorg jugak la i berjaya sampai ke tahap skrg...thank u so much...tuhan saje boleh balas jasa baik dorg...susah nak jaga student...tension bile dorg nak exam...i ingat lagi time2 cikgu sanggup dtg mlm2 hujan2 just nak buat kelas tambahan kt ktorg...bawak kertas soalan berbeg2...sungguh, besar sgt jasa dorg...i ingat lagi sorg cikgu nangis sbb result i teruk for the subject she teaches, owh ya teruk sbb i dpt C, padahal other subjects ok je...dier salahkan diri dier xreti ajar...i nangis jugak okeyh, xterfikir dier amik kira smpai mcm tu skali...maybe sbb cikgu baru kot, she needed some confidence...so i bgtau dier yg i nk join class budak2 lemah study, i told her xkisah la susah mane pun, i nk try be better, and i would help others if i can...bukan nk tunjuk baik sgt, tapi bende2 mcm tu kite xrugi kan? and yes, terpancar sinar kehappyan bile i pegi class dier tny2 soalan, tu belum lagi time i dpt A subject tu...and i said thanks to her...terima kasih cikgu :) 

and for the sejarah thing, sebab i suke sgt2 dah subject tu...sbb cikgu tu i jatuh cinta dgn history subject...sume bende jadi senang...she encouraged her students to think on their own...jgn depend sgt on books...cuba buat cerita sendiri, filem sendiri, and ayat sendiri...heh, time spm sumpah la i ckp i mmg buat ayat sendiri...menyesal jugak sbb xhafal ayat kan, takut salah but i hentam habis ikut sedap tgn menulis...berjela2 kuar jawapan, bukan sebab dah confirm tau tu sume betul, tapi sebab dlm hati xpasti semua so main tulis je ape yg ingat...guess wut, i was the top in history back then...xpernah dalam hidup haku akan terpikir ade org leh dpt 100% utk sejarah, but i did that 3 times...and disebabkan xde istilah 100% dlm sejarah so cikgu kene buat2 potong markah sedikit...heh...and my notes were used as a reference...haihhh, the good old days...apepun membaca before tido boleh la dipraktikkan jugak...provided its not the things u have to memorise by words, but the things you need to understand on your own and have some of the ideas to be added as well...critical & creative thinking are all in your amazing brain... :)

anyway, i rase kalau skrg nk bg tips2 study ketika skolah mmg boleh sgt2...because trust me brothers and sisters, zaman sekolah mmg study direct je on the books and questions...i ni jenis malas sgt2 nk study, smpai skrg pun...haha, xsenonoh kan...name je medic student...lol...tapi i pakse diri jugak2...jgn manjakan diri kite...dlm hati, kite sume tau wuts our priority in life...which one benefits us, and which one doesnt...dlm hati kite sume tau yg kalau berusaha keras pasti dapat...allah akan tolong kite bile kite tolong diri sendiri...usaha, doa, tawakal...kalau xde usaha, xmalu ke nak mintak tolong allah, and nak berserah terus2an...kalau la ditakdirkan dpt ape yg kite nak, xpelah, allah kan maha pemurah & penyayang...tapi kalau xberusaha and xdapat, jgn salahkan sesape tp diri sendiri...nak pasrah pun dgn penuh penyesalan...huhuhu...

okeylah, that's all for now...da byk membebel kot...

nanti2 pulak smbung ye :) tgk mood...haha...now nak kene pegi study for today...exam is always around the corner...haha...so cliche~ betul xtipu, ktorg xabis2 exam...i bru je exam end of november, then 20th december aritu, and the next one would be early january...the next one again will be on 14th february if i'm not mistaken...see, setiap bulan kau...mmg xde keje lain dh la, study study study...name pun medic student kan...study jelah kejenye...terpakse memaksa diri demi kebaikan semua pihak...haha...see, mlm2 xleh tido pun pegi cari buku...mom, if u see this, i knw u would be so proud of me...akhirnya alia telah betul2 menuju ke jalan yg lurus, di mana bile2 smpai ke tahap kebosanan je terus pegi mencari buku...bangga x? lol

muahmuah...cheers to evryone~ ♥

and the stress never stops...

wish me luck

*sigh*

exam exam exam

exam week : 3/6/10 - 13/6/10

exam mode again : block 3

STUDY TIPS

• Plan ahead and make a reasonable and specific plan wokey, akan ku buat satu jadual khas utk study2 neh...hrp2 dpt ikut & abiskn sume keje...byk pulak nk kne cover :'(
• Make work as fun as possible. Use bright coloured pens for your notes. wokey, gel pen da siap sedia! highlighter sume cukup!
• Don't just read and regurgitate. Use as many different ways as possible to try and understand a topic. Try mind maps, essay plans, bullet points and talking out loud. wokey, mmg susah pn nk telan sume...tp leceh sungguh kalau nk paham sume...but i'll try...let's read+understand people~ and more, MEMORIZE them!!!! huhu
• Taking breaks will help you revise. It can seem difficult when an exam is looming to put the books and highlighters away, but regular breaks will help you concentrate better. don't worry, bab take 5 nih mmg salu je...xpenah terlupe...yessss...demi concentration kn...ahahaha...alasan!
• Reward yourself when you complete each section. yess, ini yg sedap didgr nih...TIDO, MAKAN, CURI2 TGK CITER KOREA, KUAR BERSIAR2 KEJAP2...blablabla...
• Plan in time for exercise, food, sleep and fresh air. wokey, i won't leave this important things...penting2 ni...huhu...
• Caffeine is not your friend. While one cappuccino with your mates might do you the world of good, caffeine pills and energy drinks in large quantities will make it hard to concentrate and make you more anxious. alaaaaaaaa....can't help it...i need these, kalau x asik terbabas je...huhu... :( coffee makes me alive & alert...

Procrastination

• Avoid distractions. Turn the TV and the music off. wokey, pasni mmg nk off laptop...smpai la abes keje...i promise to myself...ABIS KEJE BRU BUKAK LAPPY...
• Tell yourself that you are fully capable of doing this task. ye...kne pujuk diri slalu...
• Try and get excited about the task. Make it as fun as possible and reward yourself. err, rase2nye kalau ugut diri tu lagi berkesan kot...setakat nk buat2 excited cm xkn jadi je...cube ugut fail tgk, trus istiqamah haaa...hahaha...
• If you find yourself staring at a blank page for hours on end, go and clear your head with exercise and fresh air. TIDO LA WEIH...bgn2 mmg clear je... :D ayt org mls nk kuar...
• If you're having writers block, start scribbling a plan. Stop worrying about being perfect. You can always go back and correct yourself and one piece of information may trigger others okehhhhh!

Anxiety

• Eat something, even if you feel sick. Bread, crackers or cereals are good tummy settlers. food is never a problem!!! belum sempat bunyi lagi perut tu da sumbat...hehehe...
• Don't work right up until the exam starts. Take five minutes to calm yourself. baiklahhhhhh!!!
• If you start to feel yourself panic, mentally shout 'STOP', then tell yourself that you are able to do this exam. baik cikgu!!!! *tetibe mende ni jd cikgu kn* ;p ;p

ALRIGHT PEOPLE, I BETTER GO & START STUDYING...BLOCK 3 EXAM IS IN 2 WEEKS TIME...PLUS, I NEED TO FINISH UP 3 JOURNALS TO BE PASSED UP ON THE DAY ITSELF...SO MUCH TO DO...LET'S START NOW!

when life today isn't as bright as u wished,

think again sweethearts

it might be gloomier tomorrow

when life today appears too dark & unbearably ugly,

don't be sad sweethearts

it might be more beautiful tomorrow

MSP

xtracurricular xtvt

di melaka manipal ini, pelajar-pelajar tahun kedua diwajibkan untuk membuat suatu kertas kerja sama ada kajian atau bancian utk dipersembahkan dalam suatu pameran saintifik...(amek hang bahasa baku)

program ini dinamakan "mentored student project"

so my frens & i (5 of us), under the same mentor, had come out with a simple topic entitled "perfect body posture awareness"...alasan awl2 hanye xnk wat keje renyah2 je...bende ni bukan dpt markah pun, jauh sekali ape2 hadiah cenderamata & sebagainye...tp hnylah syarat wajib lulus; extracurricular activity la ni...huhu...anyway, nk dijadikan citer...impian utk menyimpelkan project ni xtercapai sbb ktorg dikurniakan seorg mentor yg sungguh berdedikasi...beliau telah beri kerjasama, sokongan & dorongan yg tidak terhingga sehingga topik yg diingatkan ringkas itu berubah menjadi sgt2 lah complicated...jenuh jugak proses penyiapan itu...huhuhu...xmau citer keserabutan tu...tp akhirnye project ni siap...thx to my beloved groupmates who are well-cooperated enough to make evrything went on as planned and we finished on time...perfectly... :) legaaa~

nk dijadikan citer lagi...bile da hantar report, ktorg kene wat poster pulak...nk present kan...di sini juga la saya ingin menyelitkan perasaan bangga yg membuak2 kerana telah berjaya menyiapkan poster dgn jayanya...bygkan la, dlm keadaan desperate ni, terpakse guna microsoft publisher (which i never knew it existed...huhu) dlm dok tekan2 tu, tetibe boleh pulak...haha...chayo2~ ni ade beberape sample yg berjaye disiapkan sepanjang proses try&error tu...gambar ni yg xsiap lagi...bru template biase2 je...saje nk tayang...haha...however, the real one had been sent for printing...unfortunately, india ni kan agk terbelakang cket, so xdpt nk buat sebijik mcm yg design tu...dorg replace dgn software sendiri, demi nk bagi npk clear nanti, ktorg pn setuju jelah...alih2 jauh beza posternye...tp lantak la...mls nk pk...xde kesan pun...asl siap dh...heh...SABAR JELAH!!!

design 1

design 2

design 3

haha...lawa kan? sile puji ramai2...

okey la, im jst a beginner...huhu...

bukannye blaja designing...nk amk medic je...

nk buat poster scientific je...huhu...ok la kan kan? (mintak puji) ;p

btw, sabtu ni presentation day...wish us gud luck ok :)

exam corner 2

CRAMPED CRUX CAUSES crankiness

this is the last week of class for this block before we enter the exam week starting this wednesday...as all the other physio and biochem classes had already finished, today we started with a row of anatomy classes ONLY from morning till evening...what a mess...as all the medicos had all known, anatomy is the MOST-MUST-MEMORIZED-MODULE we had ever learnt...and for the record, we'll be having only anatomy class for the wutever left hours of class to finish wutever left topics in the syllabus...oh oh god...help me bear with it...well, as for today, i tried my best to concentrate on the first 4 hours...

the lectures went on smoothly, quietly and peacefully as always...all in all i think i managed to absorb about 70% of the lectures...however, during dissection, i was a lil bit uncomfortable...the loads kept on pouring throughout each corner of the brain cells...i tried to catch wutever i could but somehow mostly were slipping away...especially for the last half hour of the dissection...shall i say i had unconciously spiritually dwell away from the stool i stood but fortunately i gain concious right away...the lecture is just in front of me, gotta be alert somehow in case he ask wutever he had mentioned before...as always...

lecturer: blablabla...."do you understand?"

student: *nodding* "yess..."

lecturer:"what do you understand?"

student: "eeerrr" *gulp*

...and so the student had to repeat back all wutever he had tought before...

note: for this lecturer, the answer must be the exact words he had spoken...if not, he won't be satisfied till you managed to record his own sentences...tiring...*sigh*every master has his own style of teaching...

once i got back to my room, i took my shower (the weather is still HOT+DRY)...and had another cup of sugarless black coffee...and prayed...then, i finally decided to skip the other 3 hours of the next class...well, counted already, the attendance will still be above 90%...i'd rather stay in my room and study on my own...quality time is sometimes needed, rather than forcing myself going to some place my brain can't cope...and so i spent my sweet time studying alone in my room... :)

but to be mentioned here, skipping classes is like doing a sin in melaka manipal college...well, this is how bad i feel...we had to maintain 90% of attendance for the exam sake...which is of course so hard to be maintained...to resist such evil voices in ur mind, asking u to have ur own so-called chilling time rather than going to the boring sessions...IT IS HARD...talking bout LAZINESS...

compared to my previous days at school or even when doing my alevel, i'll just simply skip the class whenever i feel like doing so (i mean during the very2 stressful moments...and of course sometimes during the very2 loud devil's voice whispering in my ear)...but here, its like the biggest commitment to attend the classes...besides, if 1 class is missed, it means that u've missed a lot of useful knowledge which u wouldn't attain later on even when u r studying alone...some facts taught here aren't in books...knowledge also comes from the lecturer's readings, reseaches or experiences...that's how valuable each lecture is...

-hope this is the last time for me to reduce my attendance-

till then, bubye :)

quote of the day:

*EXAM MODE*

exam corner

And The Fever Begins

today somehow i feel like i have to update this blog...it's been quite sometime since i last posted here...lots of thing had happened...life is getting more and more hectic...now we've already come to the end of block 3...the exam is just around the corner or shall i say its already really2 at the corner? the first day of exam would be on this coming wednesday...though there'll only be 2 practical papers but really, both could be quite tricky...huhu...i wish there's no exam, but what to do...like a lecturer had once said,

"no matter you like it or not, you'll be facing non-stop exam till the end of your life...it's a fact that you can never change"

true...that's why each and every moment counts, and only

bravery+endurance+determination

will be your strengths to lead you along your survival...anyway, enough said...now i've gotta continue my never-end study...with tons of pages and notes to cover up...i hope i'll be ready enough this time...hope the results will be so so much better...and yeah, IT IS GETTING BETTER...lets not waste time now...i wish good luck to all the students who are in the middle of their exams...pray for you all...till then, bubye :)

quote of the day:

class of medic : PBL 2

G6PD DEFICIENCY DISEASE

What is G6PD?
G6PD stands for glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase which is an important enzyme in our body where a compound called NADPH is synthesized and later on brings about several essential functions regarding body regulatory...G6PD is the primary trigger enzyme of HMP pathway which is an alternative carbohydrate metabolism, just like glycolysis reaction...only that glycolysis produces ATP at the end while HMP pathway doesn't consume or produce any ATP...besides that, HMP pathway also lead to the production of ribose-5-phosphate, which is important in the synthesis of nucleotides for DNA & RNA in cells...

deficient of G6PD
no G6PD -> no HMP pathway -> no NADPH -> all functions of NADPH stopped

• fatty acids cannot be synthesized by adipose tissues
• steroid production are inhibited
• body exposed to accumulation of toxins such as hydrogen peroxides...NADPH can form the antioxidants for this condition...if absent, body will suffer from oxidative stress leading to death of cells or even hemolysis (burst of red blood cells)
• burst of red blood cell will lead to anemia...and jaundice because excess of yellow bilirubin (lysis product of hemoglobin)
  
• body will be prone to infections...this is because with the absence of NADPH, the phagocytosis process by white blood cells cannot occur...

disease of G6PD deficiency
this is the X-linked recessive hereditary disease which means that there is possiblity a female either to be the patient of G6PD or just the carrier of the gene...however, in male, its either the person is affected or normal...this is characterized by the low production of G6PD enzyme in body, hemolytic anemia or neonatal jaundice...neonatal jaundice is the 1st step of diagnosing G6PD defiency as babies born with this disease will have jaundice depend on the severity of the deficiency...other than that, G6PD deficiency can be detected where there's abnormal response towards certain infection, medications or chemicals...

things to be avoided

• oxidant drugs : antibiotics (chloramphenol), antimalarials (primaquine), antipyretics (acetanilid), analgesics (aspirin)
• favism : consumption of fava beans
• chemicals : nephtalene (household mothball), methylene blue (antifungal chemicals)

so that's the overview of G6PD which i've presented today...a lot more actually regarding the processes and reactions which are involved in HMP pathway...and the biochemical explaination regarding each points...overall, good job everyone...we had done our best... :D

quote of the day:

There are two things to aim at in life..
first to get what you want,
and after that to enjoy it...
Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second...

class of medic : PBL

I spend my entire day thinking & preparing my physio presentation which is called PBL (Problem Based Learning) tomorrow...though its just a light topic but hey, it'll be included in our university exam...and surely, EVERY MARKS COUNT!!! wonder who'll be validating my group...it really depends on luck...some lecturers will just let the student to present any prepared subtopics as planned but somehow some lecturers tend to be more strict & will pick randomly the student to present a random subtopic...but worse, the one who ask each student to come up in front & present the whole topics...extremely tiring+boring for both presenter & audience and it'll be time consuming...but yet, they're the boss...remember, EVERY MARKS COUNT...so here i am, staying up late & searching for the points, slicing up my brain for the sake of precious marks...

this time we were given a case situation regarding Anemia where this particular patient suffers several symptoms...actually we had discussed the case during the brainstorming session few weeks ago...we came out with few learning objectives related to the illness...then go back and review or gather as much information till the day of presentation comes (which is tomorrow)...there we have to give out the findings and all the facts to be shared with the group members...this kind of study is a real fun i shall say...brilliant idea to encourage us to study about diseases...i can say its like a pre-doctor experience... instead of studying directly from the book, we have to find additional information on the net or other sources than the textbook...then, we could relate the facts with the case...talking about creative and critical thinking...anyway, here i'll list down some of the useful information regarding anemia...these are the possible symptoms that anemic patient might have...

• fatigue & weak - when doing simple work or just by general, spread throughout the body
• shortness of breath
• headache
• increased heart rate - rapid heart beat at normal breath
• sweatiness
• pale skin
• inflammation at corner of mouth - sometimes resulting in mouth ulcer
• nail disease - upward curvature
• sometimes chest & abdominal pain
• ulcers or blooded stool
• jaundice
• brown/red urine
• difficulty on focusing
• leg cramps
• insomnia
• in children - developmental delays and behavioral disturbances, problem to interact

however these are the early symptoms which might indicate one is having anemia...if any of you experience few of these, please consult the nearest doctor and further tests will be conducted to comfirm out the illness...anemia is a condition where there's qualitative or quantitative deficiency of haemoglobin in red blood cells (RBC), which is below than the normal level of RBC in blood...long term anemia could cause hypoxic condition (lack of oxygen) at the organs of the body thus damaging the tissues & failure of the organs...haemoglobin is an important pigment in RBC which helps in the transport of oxygen throughout the body and human cells depend on oxygen to make body systems function accordingly...thus anemia will cause problems for organs to function well...and severe anemia might cause the death of tissue, which further leads to death...however once the illness is detected earlier, the chances of improving is better...

referrence:

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anemia
• http://www.medicinenet.com/anemia/article.htm
• http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/heart/anemia.html
• http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/anemia.html
• http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/understanding-anemia-basics
• http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/anemia/anemia_whatis.html
• http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anemia/DS00321

quote of the day:
"talking about Opportunity...
never take things for granted, even the small one,
it might turn out to the be diamond in the sand,
you'll only realize once you grab it in your hand..."