Wednesday, January 20, 2010

confession of an innocent heart 1

i just realized something

“ Love and fear cannot exist in the same space”

1. They usually have a history of short relationships. There is often an excuse that they haven’t met the right one, or they justify their history by saying they still have plenty of time to settle down as they can have children at any age. A favourite line is "someday".

2. They will usually have a history of infidelity. They're often unfaithful in relationships.

3. They want a relationship but they also want freedom and space so they are often attracted to long distance relationships and busy independent partner.

4. They are fast to move in on a person they are attracted to, and they pursue ardently until they win the person over.

5. They are very charming. They say and do all the right things and they can be very romantic. 

They are also very affectionate and loving. This is because in their mind the relationship is not going to be long term, so they feel free to give affection and love, knowing it won’t be forever. It isn’t long though before they suddenly start rejecting the person, by not ringing or not wanting to see him/her for days, or not including him/her in weekend arrangements etc. This is because they subtly want to give the man/woman the message that they don’t want a long term committed relationship.

6. Severe commitment phobics play the seduction/rejection game. They can’t make the decision to give totally to the relationship, but they can’t commit to walk away either. They feel trapped by both choices. They feel love for the man/woman when they don’t see him/her, but they want to run away when they become involved again.

7. Commitment phobics love the chase but they don’t want the kill. This may happen after 1 night, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months or 1 year. They may start sabotaging just as they are about to get serious. 

They stay in relationships that are rocky and offer little hope of commitment.

8. They tend to compartmentalize their life and keep their work environment, friends or family off limits. They can create wonderful excuses why their partner shouldn’t meet these people.

9. When they get the feeling they need to run, their words and actions are full of mixed messages. They play mind games. T
hey tend to blame their partner for anything and everything. They would never admit to their mistake or fault and would find a reason to blame their partner.

10. They can have a history of unavailability and inaccessibility .They can be hard to contact, and they are often unpredictable when it comes to returning phone calls. They can even avoid answering calls completely. 
They lie, or they are evasive and secretive about where they are and what they are doing to create space.

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