Saturday, October 30, 2010

sabtu : 30th

to Mr F:
RINDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
boleh x nk lompat mcm ni kt u?
:))))))
mcm ni jugak...hahahaha...
mengape arini gambar peluk kegembiraan saje?
sbb arini i'm coming back
from a week puasa cinta
ohohohohoh, ade ke puasa cinta? lebih krg la kan...lol
see u when i get back...rindu sgt2...
(reminder: alia tulih ni dpd hari sabtu lagi, time tu i dah rindu u sgt2 tau...huhuhuhu)
b, i da kembali dlm hidup u!!!! yeay!!! happy x? :)

Friday, October 29, 2010

jumaat : 29th

Dear Mr F:
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one i see
V is very,very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore~
miss u so much...take care there...
and i love u...muahxoxo
promise me that no matter what
u'll never let go
(i miss holding your hands..huhu)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

khamis : 28th

life suddenly become so colourful since i met you sweetie
how strange, i was so sure that it was just plain black & white before
aya syg fahmi sgt2
always have, always will

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

rabu : 27th

when i met you,
at first i thought you had stolen my heart
until then i realized that it was me who willingly gave you mine
♥ i love u so much ♥
"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream" — Sleeping Beauty
you are my very own prince :)
and we'll have a sweet2 happy ending
like this, maybe ;) hehe

one day we'll tell our great story to people
how we met each other :)
owh wait, syg u should watch how i met your mother...
i da tgk smpai yg the latest...yeay, i menang :D
yup2, sementara tgu i kembali dlm hidup u, busykan diri ok
(ceh, mcm pergi jauh sgt je kan...tp mmg jauh pun...sile rindu i lebih2 ok b...and i'm so sure that i da ketaq2 rindu u arini...hehe...xoxo)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

suke suki 5 : trav...trav...travelllllll???

10 places i'd like to go
(someday)

Makkah, SAUDI ARABIA

Eiffel Tower, Paris, FRANCE

Prague, CZECH

Taj Mahal, Agra, INDIA

Great Wall, CHINA

Niagara Falls, CANADA

Pyramid & Sphinx, Giza, EGYPT

Keukenhof Garden, NETHERLAND

Bali, INDONESIA

Venice, ITALY


selasa : 26th

i just wanna share with all
the card i made for mr boyfie for his birthday recently
:)
huhuhu...xsuke LDR... :(
wish i could be there on his birthday...
its a big deal okay...all the tarikh2 keramat mcm ni la nk kene ingat
huhuhu, kesian u b...sorg2 je, dah la keje kan tht day...
awek pun kt benua lain...hadiah xdpt nk bg...
last2 kad jela yg sampai, tu pun kt email...
muahxoxo...apepun, i love u so much
remember that syg
happy 26th :)
since evryone had said it, i pun nk ckp la:
"woah, my syg da 26 tahun dh ni, kene kawen cepat2..." lol
A ♥ F

Monday, October 25, 2010

isnin : 25th

EXAM DAY
today i'll be busy till evening...well, luckily there's only 1 subject...i hope i can do it...its been a while since my last exam...though god knows how much i hate the subject now...yes, IT's now officially my most hated subject...THE "P" is THE ENEMY...huuu~ call me crazy but i am holding up a grunge on that stupid subject...im gonna crush it, just wut it did to me...i'll kill you biattttchhhhhhhh!!! *middle finger* lol

hisyh, xbaik alia...ok2...arini je sile syg P lebih2 ye...wutever la...apepun i've tried my best...and i'm gonna kill it! ohohohoho...mintak2 exam kali ni ok la...trauma daaaaaa....huhuhu...xkesian ke wahai P...bagi la aku gemilang terbilang...huhuhu~ 

prasan x asyik2 dok ckp psl exam je kan...sorry la manusia2, hidup daku xde bende lain selain study je...life of a student is just about studying...bosan yes, best mungkin, benci tidak...life could be so much worse right? ok, terus2 pegi syg buku~
sweetie, i know the past few weeks had been quite hard for both of us...byk sgt2 bende dah jadi...segala dugaan rintangan dan halangan...hehe...dramatic cket...and skrg dua2 busy pulak, dont really have time for each other...tambah2 lagi i pulak ter-emotional lebih...ahahahaha...god knows how silly i felt back then...thank you for being so understanding...i love you so much fahmi...i'm so sorry kalau u pening melayan prangai i yg xtentu tu, i sendiri pening nk lyn diri sendiri...lol...thank u so much...like i've always said, you're the most caring boyfie ever...i wouldn't ask for more... :)
and lastly, i miss u so much b...always...hari ni balik rumah kan? thank god ur work is all done...i hrp2 semua berjalan dgn lancar...now, u can go bck home and strt take care of yourself...please sayang dont skip meals...makan byk2 ok, xhensem kurus kering pucat2...wuwuwuwuwu *nk nangis* please jadi sihat2 balik...xmau diet2 ok...nanti balik mkn ikut time...tido cukup2...rest well...kesian u...huuu~ kesian jugak kt bini u yg dok risau jauh2 mcm ni...huuuu~

Sunday, October 24, 2010

ahad : 24th

fyi people, i'm writing this post on 23rd oct, in my room...hehe...something struck me out just now...i knw how everyone will miss me on my absence for a week...especially my sayang...lol...okey la, sile muntah beramai2 jom...perasan betoi cik alia kite kan...konon2 top blogger sgt la...dushhhhh...anyway, bab the kesayangan tu mmg betul...HE WILL MISS ME...well, HE MUST MISS ME!!! ahahaha...sungguh cruel bunyinye...b, sile rindu i tanpa pakse ok...huhuhu...

told him already that there'll be a post for him everyday for the whole week...i hope this can work...i'm gonna set the time to publish my posts...so that people could read it, as if i were here every single day... :) okey, experiment blog bermula~ hehe...di kala jam india pukul 12am...akan terkeluarlah seketul blog post...hahahaha...nantikan...jeng3~

yessssssss!!! *hop3+pom3*
ibu bapa nak datang manipal!!!!
i'm extremely excited that the parents are coming...they're already on board...9.30pm malaysia time, in KLIA...few hours on their way to step their feet on bharat's ground...haha...i hope they're doing fine now...anyway, MAS food on the flight to india, i find them soooooooooooooooooooo xsedap...bluekkk...they might be called curry and stuffs, but really2 xsedap...hello, kari mamak xde mcm tu okay...sape chef sape? da lme konon2 nk komplen, tapi memandangkan pulang 6 bulan sekali je so xpayah la...komplen dlm hati, moga2 chef terase sendiri...huuu~ i wonder wut mom would say bout it...haha...slalunye she'll ask wut's on the menu? and i'll tell her, with my last words "nk muntah...mkn sikit je..." blablabla...and dier pulak membebel ckp i memilih la...blablabla...heeee~ we'll see mom...appa might not complain much, but mom is really particular bout food...gud lakkkkkkkkkkkkhhhhhhhhh~ hahahah...much worse, veg food would be veg curry, while non-veg food would be mutton curry...if u r lucky, u'll get chicken curry...lol...
moral of the story: a note for the chefs
 * org malaysia lebih suke makan makanan malaysia bile travel2
 * kalau xreti nk msk mknn india, xpayah try...lebih2 lagi flight food...
 * org india pun kdg2 muak mkn mknn india
 * sometimes western food sounds so much better
 * please add up the variety of the menu there...i mean, curry? and nothing but curry? seriously? *rolled eyes*
and certainly hope that my beloved amma & appa (aicehhh, since they're coming to india, nk kene tukar cket cara panggil) could bear the freakin horrible india road tonight...i booked a cab to fetch them up at bangalore's airport tonite...then the scary journey starts...ohohohohohoh *evil grin~ bygkan la kalau jalan lama ke cameron tu melilit lebih drastik cket, dan lobang-lobangan jalan beribu-ribuan, bagaikan kawah bulan-bulanan, sejauh 12 jam perjalanan...ditemani bunyi hon-hon kenderaan yg sungguh bingit, dan skill driver yg rempit-serempit2nye...BAYANGKAN~ *shrugged* gud lakkkkkkkkkkhhhhhhhhhhh~ huhuhu...poor parents...hrp2 dorg boleh tahan n sampai dgn selamatnye...flight ade je, but kalau sorg one way dh rm700 baik xpayah kan, just for an hour flight plus 2 hours by cab...so there're you go...last2 try naik taxi jela...xpe2, esok boleh tido sepanjang hari...jet lag + taxi lag...ahahaha...luckily i reminded them already to bring some ubt thn muntah...and tido cepat2 sebelum bertolak nk taxi tu...hahaha...12 jam tido ok la cket dpd 12 jam berjaga kan...
okey, xsabar dorg nk dtg
yerr, begini la kami esok...lol
amma-aya-appa





to Mr F:
i miss u all the time...
"I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time"
3 doors down - here without u (^_*)




Saturday, October 23, 2010

sabtu : 23rd

yup, they're so cute...but we're so much cuter
haha...muahxoxoxox
"If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever"
- Winnie the Pooh -

to mr F: wait for me ok...loves...hugs...kisses... :)
see u in a week

to Mr F ♥

i'm missing YOU...so so badly
both of us are extremely busy lately
and will be...for another week at least
(well, maybe thts me...huhu)
poor baby, sbr ye...wait for me...
i just want you to know: Aya loves u so much
no matter what
LDR really kills me...huhuhu...
tke cre there lovey
muahxoxo

Martina McBride : Wrong Baby Wrong ♥

i love this song
currently i'm so into martina mcbride's
country songs are really my thing...haha...
i wanna dedicate this cool song for my sweet2 sofea :)
smile always dear
love is everywhere around you
and your true love is somewhere out there
-have faith-
xoxo
(if u were here right now, we'll have our girl talk...hehe...with few hugs & tears..and yeah, we'll dance this song to the max *wink*)

i love the official vid but no embed codes for it
so here it goes:
Wrong baby, wrong baby, wrong,
it ain't the end of the world
Don't you worry, pretty girl
'Cause now that he's gone baby, gone baby, gone
You got nothin' to lose, 
count the minutes if you want to
It won't be long baby, long baby, long
'Til you find somebody new

Come on now, everyone falls down
Everyone crawls now and then, then they get up again
You cry if you want to, that's what we all do
But if you think you'll never move on, you're wrong baby

Cry baby, cry baby, cry, go on and let it all out
I ain't leavin' you now
And we can fly baby, fly baby, fly, 
let's share a bottle of wine
We can laugh about the good times
And you'll know why baby, why baby, why
It's gonna be alright

Come on now, everyone falls down
Everyone crawls now and then, then they get up again
You cry if you want to, that's what we all do
But if you think you'll never move on, you're wrong baby, wrong

Oh, you ain't gone, baby wrong, baby wrong
There's nothin' wrong with movin' on
When you know he's good and gone

Come on now, everyone falls down
Everyone crawls now and then, then they get up again
You cry if you want to, that's what we all do

Come on now, everyone falls down
Everyone crawls now and then, then they get up again
You cry if you want to, that's what we all do

But if you think you'll never move on, 
you're wrong baby, wrong
You're wrong baby, wrong
Wrong baby, wrong baby, wrong

confession of an innocent heart 4

yes people, i'm bck frm the cave!!!
(owh wait, maybe not...i might still be in it...huhu...)

okay, i might have exaggerate a lil bit...not really avoiding anyone or anything...i am still here...minding my own business...malas nk jejak kaki kt sini, and malas nk tulis ape2...its been a while since i last blogged here...as what i always say after a-long-break-from-the-blog, SO MANY THINGS HAD HAPPENED...which i'm not in a mood to ever share here...dont ask, wont tell..all i can say is that mostly were dreadful rather than wonderful, which again add up to the freakin complicated world i already have...thank you life...for making me more & more miserable day by day and depressing than before...and of course, as always, i'm trying my best to cope with each and every misfortunes here...u know, the take things positively kinda way...somehow i really wish i have a special cave, just to stay and hibernate there until everything resolves itself...time heals, people say...well, maybe...pffft...jgn hrp la...now, better or worse, i'm just living with it...helplessly...konon2 pandang ke depan je...heh..
i couldn't be more mad at anyone but myself
for being so hopeless & helpless
yes, for 22 years of living,
i regret my life all the way
every bits of it
the negatives really cancel out all the positives
the badness really erase the goodness
leaving me with nothing but darkness
and i'm scared
to ever dream or hope
maybe i dont deserve any happiness
for what i've learnt,
those happy things are just temporary
enough for me to take a sweet peek on what happiness really is
and then the evil fate will take them all in a split second
shut all the doors off
again, leaving me with nothing but darkness
i began to realize something
life is nothing but a play
and we're all just a bunch of dummies
foolishly blind folded with eventful dramas
just to distract us from the bitter truth
we're all just puppets in this world
waiting for the end to come
someday the drapes will shut
leaving us just like that
nothing else matters
i'm tired, i'm frustrated, and i give up
whatever happens tomorrow, 
i dont feel like i'm gonna give a damn
life's way better when you have no expectations
life's way better when you stop dreaming or believing
life's way better when you accept everything
life is never about you
never really yours
its not your call to make
its definitely out of your control
ok, tht's it
-i'm done fighting for myself-
its not worth it
oh god, please forgive me
all my heart and soul
there might be a hell of a sin i had done
till i deserve all this

and the bitter confession:

hye people...this is a secret i've never told anyone, not even my family...i am alia and i'm suffering from depression...it began since few years back...i dont know...all i knw is that this feeling kept on haunting me from time to time...triggered by some sad memories i had back then, and till now, whenever there's something bad/sad happens, i'll be so depressed that it take time to get ahold of myself...here's what would happen...i'll be like all possessed, keeping myself from the world...i would reject every social contact, i'll avoid any conversations...distance myself from my beloved friends and family...isolate from public...god knows, i feel so guilty for that but i just cant help myself...and this would happen for days, weeks up to months...huhu...if only the cave really exist, i'd go there for sure...weeping & whining about my pathetic misery life...alone...there're times when you feel like being alone, though you're deeply lonely & wish someone is there by your side...there're times where you feel so worthless and insignificant, though you know other people around you values you so much...there're times when you feel so empty, though you know you have everything you possibly need...there're times when you felt still and left behind as the world around you kept on evolving, though you are unconsciously doing all the task or chores...sometimes, there're stupid voices in your head saying how miserable you are, and there would be another comforting voice on the other lobes, telling you that its gonna be okay...you know you're having depression too if suddenly or gradually, you start losing interest in things you once enjoyed, low self-esteem or maybe you just don’t laugh as much as you used to...life doesn't seem half glass full like you used to see it...all the things around you make you feel uneasy, nervous, anxious with constant battle within yourself, full of guilt, worry & fear...you have no enthusiasm, feel like doing nothing...if only you can sleep forever, and never wake up...maybe world is way better without you in it...so that life could stop harassing you...hehehe...and all other negative thoughts...and IT'S ALL NEGATIVE...
i'm just confused
sad and tired
still dealing, coping & struggling
everything's a mess
i'm so sorry to all
i know depression should be taken seriously, it's a form of mental illness...some neuronal imbalance in your brain...that's why we couldn't help it...some people may need help or medications...but not me...all i have is just a mild one...not really harmful...well, maybe i sometimes had wish i were dead, but still, i'm sober, rational & moderately religious enough to realize that its all in my freakin head, and i wont ever stupidly go for any suicidal attempt...but if u ever have think of it, and possibly hurt yourself, or anybody around you, please seek for help immediately ok...as for me, i'm doing fine, i just need some time to resolve on my own...just like i've said...time heals...i might look normal (and i swear i am normal...huuuu~), but god knows whatever massive battle i'm having deep inside...but hey, at least i'm still living my life...my ass is still off my bed, i still eat to live, and i still study for exams...thts good enough...i might have few breakdowns, but i'm dealing with it...i'm trying hard to get myself out of this...actually, it more like forcing myself out of it...i have to, right? if not me, then who else...huuu~
*end of confession*
xlarat nk tulis dah sbb penat & sakit kepala...
apsal ntah migrain makin menjadi2 lately...
maybe because:
parents are coming tomorrow
my upcoming exam this monday
not sure if i have class or not...i hate classes...
emotional probs u-knw-wut
social probs u-knw-wut
study probs u-knw-wut
blablabla
*dah kate kan dok tgh serabut*
dah la mls nk pk
huhuhu
-nite everyone-
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